The promise
by ElzyPhangirl
Summary: "I wish none of this even happened. I wish I hadn't met Phil. I wish I didn't feel this way about him. I just wish I was dead" Dan doesn't know what to do anymore... Based off lyrics from Emma Blackery's song 'The Promise' (not a song fic) Rated T for mentions of and implied self harm


**I don't own either of them (for good reason!)  
**

_Today, you don't wanna get out of bed_

"Dan?"

"What?"

"Get up already! You've been in your room for the whole day!"

"No, go away"

"But Dan, I just want to see you"

"No! I said go away!"

_There are so many thoughts in your head_

I don't want to see Phil… and I don't want him to see me. Not like this. I don't care what it takes, I'm not letting my own problems bother him. They are mine and mine to carry alone.

_Like you'd be better off dead, better of dead_

I wish none of this even happened. I wish I hadn't met Phil. I wish I didn't feel this way about him. I just wish I was dead

_Well let me tell you_

"Dan please just let me in"

"No"

"Please. I just want to talk. To see if you're okay"

"I'm fine, now leave me alone"

I curled up into my blood stained duvet. I hated shouting at Phil but I didn't want to show him what I've done. He would hate me. He would be ashamed. He would tell me to leave… And then he would never be mine.

_There's a whole world waiting for you_

"I'll just go find the spare key to your room and let myself in, shall I?"

"What?! No, don't do that!"

Silence…

Then the door gently swung open. I dived under my covers, desperate to hide myself from Phil.

"Dan?"

I saw a hand try and pull the covers off of me. I kept pulling them back. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I hate hiding things from Phil. I let my grip on the covers slip and curl into the tightest ball possible. A hand graces my face. Suddenly the bed drips down next to me and I feel something… someone climb into bed next to me. I take one breath and know it's Phil, his wonderful smell radiating off of him. My body stiffens as his surprisingly warm arms wrap themselves around me in a protective hug.

_It's hard to believe but it's true_

This can't be happening; this isn't real… is it? We stayed curled up together for a while until Phil finally let go and turned me around to face him.

_So just hold on for me, hold on for me_

To my surprise, Phil's eyes were glistening from tears. I instinctively lifted my hand to wipe them away but hissed in pain and drew back as yet another searing pain shot through my scarred wrist

"Why?"

That was the only thing he said… but the words held something so much more. They were filled with hurt, sadness, worry but most surprisingly… guilt. When I didn't answer he gently took hold of my hand and pulled it towards him slowly.

"Don't do this… please"

_Cos' I believe if you go my heart would break_

"I don't know w-what I would do without y-you" Phil's voice started cracking with emotion. I wanted to break down right there and then and pull him into the biggest hug. But his sorrowful ice blue eyes seemed to freeze me in time.

_Just hold on one more day_

"I want to help you get through this. If you let me, I know we can get you through"

_Cos' you are so beautiful_

"Why?" The first words I had spoken since he entered

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you want to help me?"

Phil gasped at me

"Because you are my friend and I don't want to lose you. And I don't know how I would cope with you not being here… Also… there is something I have been meaning to tell you and I can't lose you without letting you know"

"What is it?"

"You are so perfect to me. Seriously, you're personality is so beautiful and you always made me happy when I was going through a hard time. So now I'm repaying the favour"

_I promise you this, I promise you this_

"Do you really want to help me?"

"Yes"

"Promise?"

"I promise you Dan"

_And you are more than capable_

Phil seemed to realise he was still holding my hand and gently let it go. My hand flopped down onto the bed but our eyes remained locked; ice blue on chocolate brown.

_You're better than this_, y_ou're worth more than this_

"Now I want you to make a promise to me… never again. I don't want you doing this ever again. You are far better than a silly scrap of metal"

I slowly nod. Phil really does want to help me…

_And I believe if you go my heart would break_

"P-Phil?"

"Yeah?" Phil's eyes suddenly fill with concern again. My heart flutters a little as I see that he really does care about me

"Don't leave me… please"

"Dan… I would never, ever leave you. We've become so close that I don't think I could physically live without you anymore"

_Cos' you are so beautiful_

"Do you want to know why I… why I started cutting?"

Phil nodded slowly but encouragingly

"I… I like you Phil. Like, really like you. And I figured you wouldn't like me back and I didn't want to lose you. But I couldn't bear not having you for my own. I was so scared some girl would come and take you away from me and-"

I was cut off suddenly by a small pressure on my lips. It was soft and warm. It only lasted a few seconds but as soon as it left I knew what it was… Phil's lips

Phil's lips

_I promise you this _

I stare at Phil, my eyes wide with shock

"I-I like you too. But I could never figure out a way to tell you"

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course I mean it! Do you mean it?"

"Yes, of course I do"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

**Sorry... happy ending though :) This song is really important to me and I just felt I needed to write something based around it. Hope you liked the result :) And did anyone notice the Merlin and Doctor Who quotes I slipped in?... No? Okay...  
**


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